13 things my Labs have eaten

As you might have noticed, I have Labs. Labs are, well, special, especially in terms of what they will find edible.

I was recently given my third copy of "Marley and Me". With all due respect to the author, I am pretty sure Marley was a snap to handle compared to some of my dogs. BTW, I don't need any more copies, thanks.

So, for your enjoyment, here's a list of the strangest or most expensive things that my Labradors have been deemed tasty, along with the dog's name and incident year. No dogs were ever harmed during these misadventures, but my sanity was threatened several times.


1) A novel that I was on the last chapter of. [Splash, 2007]

2) Two tubes of lipstick, remains smeared into carpet. [Splash, 2005]

3) One electronic door-lock key chain thingie for my Toyota, replacement cost, $200. [Splash, 2005] With photo goodness!

4) One rather large rock, of shape and size somewhat like a kiwi. The rock was unwisely placed in the dinner bowl at the advice of a veterinarian to slow down the alarmingly fast Lab-eating-process. Rock was simply added to the meal by the Lab. Don't worry, the entire meal came back up again promptly. On the carpet. [Chuck, 1989]

5) Uncountable pairs of jeans and shorts, all of which had held treats in the pockets, at least until the pocket and the treats were eaten. [all the dogs, every year, will I ever learn?]

6) One bright green highlighter, followed the next day by some amazing green-colored poop. [Holly, 1990]

7) The metal connector pipe that goes between the toilet and the wall, quickly followed by bathroom-flooding hilarity! [Chuck, 1986]

8) Technically not eaten, rather thrown into the toilet: a talking dog toy, which proceeded to malfunction for several days and drive me crazy figuring out where the *&$#? noise was coming from. [Splash, 2004]

9) One each of about 8 pairs of socks. Missing sock usually found following canine throwing-up sounds that strangely are only heard in the middle of the night. [Chuck, 1986-1988]

10) The cable television wiring along the north side of the house, which was unwisely placed within canine jumping-up reach. Cable pulled from inside to outside, and chewed into little bits of course. The cable box, on which the television had been resting, was yanked 3 feet through the air to the exterior wall. The television was miraculously undamaged despite its fall to the floor. [Jill, 1996]

11) Any electrical wiring, extension cords, appliance cords left exposed. (note to dog owners: always unplug everything. Even stuff that's on a shelf. Canines are clever, devious, and generally hungry.) [Jill, the Dog-Who-Was-Fond-Of-Wiring, 1996]

12) One telephone cord, chewed while I was on the phone, thereby ending the conversation and allowing me to return my full attention to the dogs. [Chuck, 1988]

13) A corner of a rather small Persian rug belonging to a family friend. About the size of a bath mat, the rug didn't look like much, but when we took it to a dealer for repairs, we found it was worth an astonishing amount. Equally astonishing was the repair bill, which was aboout $1200. [Chuck, the Dog-Who-Taught-Me-The-Value-Of-Crates, 1986]


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